A Simple Fairy Tale

The greatest love story I have been apart of in my life begins as many of the tales from my early twenties begin, I got high and wanted some food. In my quest to quench my munchies I took out my dirty white Yaris to the nearest Burger King. After retrieving 2 cheeseburgers with only ketchup and two value fries, with a side of buffalo sauce (true story, Burger King’s buffalo sauce is like crack, I thirst for it late at night, there is something in it that I just can’t put my finger on it, but it leaves me craving it at all times), I began my journey home.

As I drove I merged to the middle part of the road so that I could make the left onto my street. At around the same time an idiot pulled out and also merged into the middle part of the road coming straight at me. This person was not trying to turn, but instead of waiting the 30 seconds for the entire road to clear so they could turn into the correct lane, they had decided to turn into the middle and then merge into their lane. Too bad I was actually doing the correct procedure, but thus was blocked from reaching my street to turn onto. The traffic continued in the lane that the douche bag was trying into turn to as my munchies intensified with the wonderful smell of the Burger King french fries drifting into my nostrils.

Just as I was about to turn off the engine, ditch the car, and run to my house to eat my food. My savior arrived. She drove a gray car and she stopped in the middle of traffic to allow the douche bag to join the lane. She had a deep brunette hair that was held up in a pony tail, she was beautiful in every sense of the term, but from this gesture I knew she was not only beautiful but kind. I knew she would one day be the mother of my children. As I sat there gazing at my future wife, the douche bag did absolutely nothing. He sat motionless as he continued to block me from my destination. The goddess continued her quest to help me and honked at the douche bag. A long second passed between the parties, but still no movement was made by the douche bag. My one true love pushed forward and flashed her high beams in one final effort to save me from my annoying situation, but it was once again for naught as the douche bag still remained in my way.

It was then that even her kindness could endure no more, she continued to drive forward as she passed she looked at me an waved as if to say, “I’m so sorry.” I looked at her, raising my own hands trying to say.

“I know. You tried.”

She pointed to him and back to me and pouted, a pout that I would not have to grow to love as it had already captured my heart. She then sneered at the douche bag. Each movement meant something as if she was telling me, “I mean I tried the guy still didn’t move I did all I could.”

I shrugged and smiled at the dear young woman and pointed “You did do all you could and I love you.” She drove on and eventually the douche bag merged into his lane and I finished my drive to my house. I of course would never see that girl again, I mean that’s not really how the world works.